Dear Coleen
My partner and I, both in our mid-20s, have been in a relationship for a few months since meeting on a dating platform.
I have deep feelings for him, and our connection is strong. He is incredibly attractive and works as a model, which adds to the appeal.
Despite the positive aspects, I find it challenging to admit to my friends that he lacks excitement in the bedroom. He tends to be passive during intimacy, leaving me unsatisfied after a brief encounter that I usually initiate.
Compared to my previous partners, who were younger but more engaged, the physical aspect with him feels lacking. I am conflicted because I am genuinely attracted to him and enjoy our time together, yet something seems amiss.
Although I hesitate to address this issue directly given our short time together, I feel unsettled about the situation and do not wish to upset him.
I seek your perspective on this matter and any advice you can offer.
Coleen says
Firstly, physical attractiveness does not always correlate with confidence in the bedroom, suggesting a potential self-esteem issue.
Your partner may not perceive himself as others do, possibly feeling pressured to live up to his image during intimate moments.
Alternatively, his lackluster performance could stem from inexperience or a reliance on past partners to take the lead.
Instead of criticism, try expressing your desires and what excites you in bed. Allowing him to initiate intimacy might boost his confidence and enhance the experience.
Sexual compatibility often develops over time as comfort and intimacy deepen between partners.
I recommend giving it more time to see how things progress. If the dissatisfaction persists, reassessing the situation may be necessary.
She’s known for her candid advice on Loose Women and now serves as a straightforward agony aunt, addressing sex, relationship, and life dilemmas.
EMAIL: dearcoleen@mirror.co.uk – Coleen regrets she cannot respond individually
WRITE TO: Coleen Nolan, The Daily Mirror, One Canada Square, London E14 5AP
Don’t miss her weekly newsletter. Subscribe at bit.ly/MirrorColeen
<